Hi everyone! The past couple of days I have been sitting on pins and needles waiting for some very important test results. I had my quarterly PET CT scan done.
For those of you not familiar with that, it's a test using a radiactive isotope that reacts with the glucose in tumors. It's extremely effective and it is a great tool used for more advanced cancers like mine.
Well, the drumroll of the day is.....NO NEW TUMORS!!!!!!!!! For the first time in two years there are no new tumors sites anywhere…
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Added by Justina on August 7, 2008 at 4:39pm —
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Howdy Ho everyone!!!!!!! I'm recovering from another treatment and feeling overall horrible about it. I have just been so tired lately I feel as if I do not know which way is up. I am doing Taxol chemotherapy, but I am also on a new drug called Avastin. It inhibits blood vessel growth so new cancer cells can not develop a way to feed and therefore can not grow into tumors. It also helps with current tumors by slowly killing off their blood supply of food.
My question...are any of the other mom's…
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Added by Justina on July 25, 2008 at 2:33am —
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It's 6:15 am here. I had my chemo treatment yesterday and either the steriods have kicked in big time...or the fact that I was knocked out in bed by 7:30 pm has me awake. Wired awake. Wih a burden on my chest to release. I have to release it some where and tears are going to fall as I type, but I share so much with you all, I feel I must share this. Mind you....it's a rough draft, I feel I can't control the speed my fingers are typing at so please pardon and typos, incomplete sentences or punctu…
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Added by Justina on July 4, 2008 at 12:00pm —
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Pure gift from God.
Total unconditional, undying, unfaltering love.
Seeing so much of oneself in her grey eyes.
Sitting utterly amazed by her beauty...a smile that pulls at my heart.
Feeling her arms wrapped around me after a long day at work.
Tucking her in with hugs and kisses at bedtime.
Wishing for so much for her.
Having to nurture and love and support her so that she feels as empowered as I when she smiles at me.
The searing pain of her birth a distant faded memory.
Replaced by first steps…
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Added by Justina on June 24, 2008 at 5:36am —
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My website is finally up and running. My writings and poetry is not attached yet as I still can not figure out how to attach them to the page.
I would really appreciate it if everyone took a peek www.justyshope.org and let me know what you think. I value all of your opinions so much. Thanks!!!
Justy
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Added by Justina on June 20, 2008 at 12:56am —
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Mayhem and confusion are distant faded memories.
An ability to live and let live ruling all.
Selfish attainable goals within my grasp.
Leaving closed doors closed locked tight.
Headed down lifes' path my future before me,
no worries no bothers.
Relishing in the warm glow of life flowing from the doors already open.
Simplicity being focused on and pushed upon myself, by myself.
Blinding myself to a hidden door left unlocked but closed,
The seductive warmth it radiates tingling my senses.
My subco…
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Added by Justina on June 17, 2008 at 3:54pm —
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To capture a moment in your hands
To hold it, study it,
Looking deeply into all things composing this moment.
Compiling a mental list of ingredients
And dissecting the consequences of this moment.
To crush this moment that you are grasping in your hands.
Extinguishing all life in it.
Executing something out of your own control.
Refusing the opportunity to channel this moment.
Exercising the possession of this moment before it flourishes.
Feeling the thunder of this moment.
Crashing upon all le…
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Added by Justina on June 14, 2008 at 5:41pm —
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*This was kindly posted for me on the reegular site blog by Priscilla. With all the new members we are getting here I would like topost it here as well. It is an article of mine that I've had published in a few different publications. It sums up my feelings about living with breast cancer quite nicely. *
GRATEFUL
Not many people can find a reason to be grateful for cancer. Not many people are diagnosed at the age of 28 with stage I invasive ducal carcinoma. And then are re-diagnosed at 31 with…
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Added by Justina on June 6, 2008 at 12:57am —
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Pretty much if you read any of my info on here you all know I love fishing. There's fishing for sunnies and crappies...then the big fishing, bass and trout. Not up until this weekend I just fished. It is my escape to sit by or on the water and watch it go by and not have any worries.
Well, this weekend, I stepped it up. Yesterday, the trout was mine. It put up a good fight but not until today did I fight with a gilled one. Today, I caught a bass. A whopper bass....5lbs had to be at least 16" lon…
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Added by Justina on June 2, 2008 at 12:02am —
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Hi Everyone! Sorry I haven't posted in a while...I've not been doing too well.
I'm of course still undergoing chemo. The chemo itself just make me extremely tired, which on most days I can deal with; I gave up on trying to be Superwoman a while ago. I've given into the time I need my naps, deep breathing (thank you Nancy), and just resting when my body screams rest.
What does get to me is a relatively new drug out called Avastin. It is for metastacized cancers. I was in a clinical trial for it…
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Added by Justina on May 30, 2008 at 12:14pm —
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I'm sure some other mom's have felt this way going through chemo...hope you all enjoy.
My financial looming doom
Keeps bouncing around my room.
Having to always, constantly think twice
the dollar signs dancing remind me of lice.
Wishing, begging again to be a kid
Can someone please pass the R.I.D.?
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Added by Justina on May 16, 2008 at 12:57am —
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Today stinks.
It is a miserable damp day out.
I had to go for my chemo....AGAIN.
And I am overall in a piss poor mood.
I had a horrible argument with Taurus last night. I guess my illness is wearing on him as well. I guess I've been rather insensitive to that but I'm too busy being Mommy and dealing with being sick and tired.
I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I'm tired of driving 132 miles round trip once a week for treatments.
I'm tired of getting poked and prodded at once a week.
I'm…
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Added by Justina on May 2, 2008 at 1:00am —
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1. I Fish. On down days there is nothing more that helps me clear my head than sitting next to a body of water in complete solitude than fishing.
2. I take long hot baths. Not only does the baths help me mentally, but they work wonders on all my aches and pains.
3. I write. My emotionas and feelings explode onto paper getting out my demons and replaces all with a sense of security and peace.
4. I cry. I allow mysel;f to get out all of the hurt, pain, and frustration I feel over having to live…
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Added by Justina on April 28, 2008 at 2:10pm —
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Hi Everyone!
I am home from my New Jersey getaway. It felt so good to just escape. My daughter has a best friend down there so she stayed over her house all weekend. I stayed at my friends house. We did al lil bit of shopping...Miss Espi of course outgrew all of her summer things from last year so I had to get her more for this year.
I wokeup this morning around noon, feeling very blah and under the weather. It is very damp here today and the dampness kills my bones. The only reason I'm not dow…
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Added by Justina on April 28, 2008 at 1:38am —
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Hi there everyone and especially Nancy & Priscilla,
I'm sitting here having my morning cup of coffee feeling actually pretty good. Yesterday I had my chemo (yippppeeee) and I was totally whipped out. I slept through most of the treatment, then came home and slept 4 more hours. On the way down to chemo the check engine light came on in my car so of course I had to start freaking out about that. The only good thing is once I came home my roommate Taurus (long story, Priscilla knows it, I'll s…
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Added by Justina on April 25, 2008 at 2:36pm —
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